Y didn't she just stick a dagger in me

I wish my computer had crashed today. Or been attacked by a virus which would have corrupted that satanic piece of software called yahoo messenger. Or at least god should have prevented me from making the first mistake of logging into it .Because today a seemingly harmless chat almost gave me a heart attack.
7 p.m., and here I am happily chatting to a a good 'ol chap, listening to his take on the contenstants of Miss India this year. Then suddenly, out of the blue, a msg window poops in my face, and there she is. One of my best friends. And more importantly, my high school crush. Damn that wretched soul who gave her my msgr id.
Anyways, I try to put up a bold front, though I'm literally stammering even on the msgr. And then comes the second mistake of the day. In reply to her-so-whats-new-me-nothing yaar, I ask her back the same question. This is the moment when she decides to launch a tirade of accomplishments that make me feel like digging up a hole in the earth and bury my face in it-

She tells me tht after school she got into NID, where luckily her industrial project client in final sem was none other than BMW. So a month later, she's in Germany, where after the project she gets absorbed into BMW itself, simultaneously pursues a 1 year PG degreee in advanced automotive design, then moves to the US, pursues a 1 year degree in Business from harvard, joins Boeing, finds an Indian bloke who also happens to be a high-profile neuro-surgeon.
She goes on to tell me that she just bought a Porsche, she's getting married this summer, and took my address to send an invitation. And no, she does'nt stop at this. She starts photo sharing, and one after another, I'm presented with proofs of her feats.Ohhh, does she look gr8...

And u knw wht, I saved the (almost)last 2 lines frm the chat, which actually form the worst part:

kaustubh_bhatnagar: Hey if u ask so much...I'll tell...actually I had a crush on you.
heena kalra: I knw tht,and u knw, i did too. But i guess it worked out for the best for both of us
kaustubh_bhatnagar: [Remind me to ask the yahoo guys to make a smiley for "Hang Thyself"]

Can't recall much after that cause that's precisely the moment when I blacked out.