Happy Day!!

People (yes some people do land up at driftingdolts every now or then) have been complaining. The general complaint being that the posts here are anything but peppy.

People cribbing.
People puking. :D
People getting separated in Metro.
People declaring their comeback for n^th time.
People wishing to travel alone.
People complaining.
People speculating about strange questions (with stranger comments :D)

So, I thought maybe I’d write something peppy.

To begin with, today was an extraordinarily happy day.

The taste of that hot pancake with vanilla ice cream at Monk last night still existed somewhere between my teeth (I know what you are thinking. The answer is – No).

The Sunday edition of Indian Express cried aloud about the current trend of young people who were too busy with their work to forget about the leaves that they had in their kitty. Hmmm… reminds me of something!!!!
Peter Vidal says that the next week would be tough for me coz of Mars’ movement. You bet!

Sunday Morning Television is bliss.

Went to check out Spencer’s.

A guy at lift mistook me for a liftman and said – “2^nd Floor”. Feeling sorry for the guy who had no idea about what “2” looked like, I pointed out towards the number “2” on the instrumental panel.
And as expected more drama followed thereafter – A marketing girl came up to me and asked if I know about TAG Heuer. Asked her to have a look at my wrist and she fainted (Again, I know what you are thinking. And the answer, yet again, is – No).

After spending a lot of time at Tantra’s and contemplating over whether I should buy the Good Bush – Bad Bush Tee, I was back at home chatting with good ol’ bertie.

And keeping up with the trend started by bertie, I’ll sign off with excerpts from our rather hilarious chat –

Bertie: hi
whats up ?
me: hey dude
mm... fan
Bertie: ??
me: hehe
Bertie: whats that now...sistah ?
me: !!!!!
sistah !!
Bertie: yo man....my nigger
:)
me: d***-shitter :D
bro
Bertie: yo man bro
my daug
me: gimma hifi
Bertie: hifi
hochie mama
me: mm.....
that's it

Chennai Blues

SweatDrippingHatefulTamilsNoseyTamilsOutrageouslyHotFood
SmellyBeachesScrewedUpTrafficZeroNightlifeRedneckColleagues
NoSexyChicksFreezingServerRoomBoilingEverythingElseTwoHourCommute
NoseyTamilDriverNoMyoozikOnLaptopScrewdupSouthyStyleSeafood
NoseyTamilClientLettingMeWriteOnlyThisMuch!

Arrrrgh!

Wodehouse and books (contd)....

To be frank, i'm a big fan only of the Bertie and Jeeves stories...haven't really read many of the other works of Wodehouse - Blandings Castle, Psmith and the others. The thing about his works is the effortless use of language and style. The plot and the characters are scaresly believable anyways. But still it has given me, withy my limited reading, two endearing and memorable characters:-

Bertie: He is such a good soul. His whole aim in life is to help his idiot friends out of trouble, and he really has no thought of self. You can imagine that he'd be very good company. His use of language is so fabulous that just asking you if you'd like a cup of tea would become an event.

Jeeves: Jeeves is the guide, philosopher and friend everyone needs. The nanny to put you to bed at night and make sure you are comfortable.

I think everyone would like to have a Jeeves. I know i would. However, in these days of 'affirmative action' let me clarify i don't mean a butler or servant. For one because we would all be embarrassed by having a butler. We wouldn't know how to talk to him. It really goes back to Aladdin, with Jeeves as the genie. The genie could always mock his master.

Its quite brilliant really....

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Stephen Fry, the famous British comedian who played Jeeves on the series speaking about the challenge of the role:-

"Wodehouse described Jeeves' cough as 'like a sheep clearing its throat of a blade of grass on a distant hillside.' I tried practicing that but sounded more like a goat clearing its throat of a piece of cheese on a nearby hillside. These things are difficult. "

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Talking about helpful friends and idiot friends. Sample this chat i had with Marvin couple of days ago:-

Kshitij: what have you been eating/drinking off late pal?
:)
you seem to be on a roll with hindi movie type dialogues :D

me: i'm in a rut buddya big oneso deep that from the ground u can't even see me....

Kshitij: huh... whats wrong with you?
this is what wordweb has to say abt rut ....."Applies to nonhuman mammals: a state or period of heightened sexual arousal and activity"

me: whats wrong with this world i ask....

Kshitij: hmmmm ..good question

me: any answers my frnd ?

Kshitij: 42 ?

Wodehouse and books....

I have been thinking a bit these days. Those in the know would think this is rarity of a rare order. Well, yeah!! Halley's comet seems like a blasted nuisance in comparison. Also, i just downloaded the first season of "Jeeves and Wooster". Famous television adaptation of few stories by the Master himself.

Anyways, this morning i got dressed early for work and had about half an hour on hand. So, decided to watch the first episode of the downloaded series. To be honest i was not really sure what to expect. Noone knows what we Wodehouse adorers are like. They all have an image of Jeeves and Wooster's world in their heads, and there is always the possibility that any play or movie might ruin that image. Plus the movie version of the HG2G was poor to say the least.

But i needn't had worried, it had all the humour, sillyness and settings which the stories so vividly describe. Knowing the sullen mood i'm in and the genreal funeral air i carrying about me these days just what i needed in the morning, clearing the mind like fresh winds on a nice lil hill or a gud'ol shag (whatever you prefer, no judgements).

Whatever little i saw, the series seems really good. So, on my way to work in between thinking of minor matters in life such as how much equity stake to accquire in the latest merger deal, which capital markets to invest in and valuation of equipment worth millions of dollars....i started thinking of Wodehouse books and well books in general.

He is called the master, argubaly the greatest comic writer in english and among the most brilliant of the last century. To be honest, i can't really support claims like that coz to be fair i have read very little. But i like books that take you to different world, lets one imagine, mind you not just fantasy tales, could very well be a very stark reality. Doesn't mean i don't like other kinds of books, but just feel as if too much is made of some of them.

Now here i would like to comment on the reading habits of youngsters these days. There are your Chetan Bhagat's types, immensley popluar. I know, before you stone me for even using that name in the same article about Wodehouse, hold on, i have a thought here. In way the young, diet coke guzzling, k-serial watching, fancy mobile carrying generation has a book about themselves, living their lives in a book giving a glamourised anglel to it making them look ohh so cool.

Then there are the serious books, talking about complex relationships, human emotions and the truth, at times shocking, trying to shake us out of our comfort zone. Well, i'm not sure about these books/movies. It just seems a lie, beautiful people going through there own created emotional upheavel, finding comfort and excuses for their vulnerability and cowardice.

For better readability continued in the next post...

Ah! Another weekend goes by

Well there are times in life when what you feel is uncannily captured by a song or poetry or few lines. Well one such song comes to mind regarding my state of existance....

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

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Well finally one interesting thing happened on this trip to Delhi. On Sunday afternoon, me and Madmita meet up at the metro station....i buy the ticket when we hear the metro rolling into the station.

Madmita shoots a glance at me like two hunters would on an expedition,sensing the prey and exclaims "Dude!! lets run for it". She belts across like PT Usha at the nationals. Well now you have to appreciate my state of being at the particular point in time. I have been in a generally dopey mood recently plus the clumsy dolt that i am, i fumbled with my ticket at the gate...the damn thing won't open!! Over and above that the thing that i have for slo-mo runs (since the days i was scarred for life watching fine young ladies like Pamela and Yasmine on Baywatch). What all this meant was that surprisingly quick madmita was out of sight (i swear, i didn't catcha glimpse of her) before i shifted from the first gear.

Then came the escalator. Now i have a thing about escalators, i dunn like running or even walking on them....i feel it disrespects the good'ol esci. Anyhow, seeing the criticality of the situation (Madmita actually made it feel like it was the last train to El dorado) i moved rather swiftly, gracefully leaping from step to step.

Ok now this is where it gets interesting....as if you haven't cracked a rib already laughing. So i reach the top on the platform now....the train is about to leave...i can just feel it. Madmita has gathered such speed that its impossible for her to grind to a halt. The doors werea round 15 meters away from the point i was standing when i saw them closing....next few moments passed in classic slow-mo style, i tried my best like a hindi film hero shouting "Nahiii......(hands flying in the air), well i didn't actually shout. The doors closed me and madmita standing on opposite sides like lovers losing each other forever....u get the picture, purra hindi movie ka romantic scene....

Yeah enough of that...this is how actually the conversation across the glass went :-

Me: "What the f##$ were you doing ??"
Her: "Get on the next metro you slow coach, moron!!!"

And then according to her all the people in the compartment burst out laughing.

My comeback, Sport, World Cup and some perspective

Well to start off lemme just say the words masses of readers of this wildly popular blog have been dreaming of..."Yeh baby...i'm back". Famous words by Marvin, but actually hold good in this case.

Now that i'm back in Delhi for the summer i am going to regular with my writing. Actually inspite of being pretty busy n all i've also been super lazy. So when i did have free time, i preferred to sleep, watch a movie, chat with pals n do other stuff (i know what ur thinking.... "kids these days!!"). But i have been meaning to write for quite some time so now the enteries might seem about stuff that happened well in the past.
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With all the rampant speculation n mindnumbing news about India's World cup debacle cluttering up the media. Ofcourse as these things usually go, no real value-adding opinion is even remotely in the air or any such has been drowned. So that gives me an oppurtunity to use my favourite perspective quote, say what i think about sports n the World Cup:

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."

- Douglas Adams

To attempt to kick a round object between two poles or send a bunch of feathers over a net or attempt to knock over three wooden sticks with a leather ball might appear to be some of the most pointless things that man can do. Yet it is this very pointlessness that gives sport its allure. At its best sport means nothing beyond itself because it is artificial, controlled, and the rules change to take in either popular sentiment or commercial interest.

It is also the most profound activity we can engage in; as a legendary football coach, said, sport is not a matter of life and death - it is more important. Countries have gone to war over sport; economies have improved or collapsed over world championships; dictatorships have been given legitimacy over a tournament. This is the irony of sport - it is a pointless exercise full of meaning; an evolutionary step.

Sport is a representation of life with its dangers, pressures and the need to make a thousand judgements that would affect the outcome. Sport can seep into life, but when the reverse happens it upsets the natural order of things. When real life breaks through and enters a sporting activity bringing with it death, it is unfair.

Therefore, to term India's departure from the World Cup a tragedy is ridiculous. Tragedy is when a coach is murdered. When a champion tennis player is stabbed oncourt. Tragedy is when a world champion driver is killed on the circuit. Tragedy is not to understand what is tragedy. Dropping a catch is not a tragedy, being thrown out of the World Cup because batsmen can't score runs is not a tragedy. In fact, it is a farce.

If you saw the Australia-South Africa encounter, you knew that India had no chance in this World Cup. These teams have taken the one-day game to a different plane altogether. Everything is based on physical fitness and the ability to think on the feet. Two qualities that India lacked. If anything, by their refusal to acknowledge the importance of fielding and fitness, India were actually taking the game backwards.

Shane Watson throwing down the stumps from the boundary to break a hundred run opening partnership is what it's all about. It turned the match, and perhaps the tournament itself.

The lonely traveler

Now that Blatherer has already blathered about the pukey details of my Dharamshala trip, I’ll instead harp on an interesting incident, and the thoughts that followed, occupying my mind during most of the 3 day trip.

It all started with the Volvo trip where, by virtue of god-knows-which good deeds of mine, I was able to get a seat slightly away from the 4 weirdos in my group, and next to an absolutely gorgeous female named Rebecca, who’d come all the way from Germany like the rest of the foreigners in search of some Karma crap.(suckers!!!)

Anyways, though most of the time my mind was too busy looking at her than to hear what she was saying, I managed to hang on to one of the things she said. She told, or rather advised me, to travel alone the next time!! Now I don’t know whether she said this out of mercy for me, looking at the rest of my group, or out of pure lust so that she could catch me alone the next time, but I sure am intrigued by the whole prospect of being a lone traveler. I mean, just consider the following benefits:

• Only having to listen to you
• Not having to wait for the last member to finish bathing before getting ur breakfast
• Not having to see people wretch out bucket-fulls of puke outside your balcony
• Being able to talk to interesting people like Rebecca, without facing the customary leg-pulling about what happened in the night (that is so lame :x)
• Not having to pay inflated bills at some fancy restaurant, just 'cause your group-mates can't stop gorging like hogs
  
• Just being who you are
• Umpteen other benefits

And so it has been decided. My next trip is going to be solo. No pick-ups. No schedules.

Nobody knowing where I am.

Totally Free. Because that is how a vacation is meant to be.

When everyone left

Continuing with the 3 theme started by madmita -

We never really understood the fuss that a 3-day weekend created.
Well, we were in college and already had our hands full on the amount of free time to kill. A 3-day weekend was more of an additional burden - a hill we had to conquer just in order to find more and more time to play with.

But as they say - 'Times have changed.'

We started working :(
And time started killing us.
It seemed as if time was running away faster than the audience does on seeing a Katrina Kaif movie.

And a 3-day weekend !!! It was the best possible thing that could have happened to us. (Second only to the unmentionable)

But alas! While the whole Delhi seems to be out on the road on their way to Manali / Mcleodganj / Rishikesh / Hyderabad and God-knows what all places, I'm here - sitting in front of my monitor writing this goddamn blog - all thanks to my Orthopedist who thinks that the world is going to fall down and it should be my shoulders that would lift it up.
And hence the prohibition.

p.s. zz9 just called. That damn fellow is getting high on Apple Cider & Cannabis and is apparently puking his way to glory: Wish I was there :((

Will He? Won't He?

And yes...this time he DID! Yet-umpteenth again...
Well, since I'm in no mood for suspense...the He is our dear ol' Blatherer...and what he did do, is...well, he puked!! Yes people...the king-of-all-things-vomity did'nt disappoint us, with unmatched histrionics and acts at a recent bash at TGIF's...only to end it all with his signature puke-fall-and-roll-around-in-it sequence! Too bad you couldn't accompany us to PbN...would have been fun to see your reactions to those vodka-waala-golgappas...
The only troubling times in the entire incident were when his vows to stick to beer at parties...alas, that would only deprive us poor souls of such fineries!