Foot-in-mouth Disease

The recent bird flu scare prompted me to write about this disease I suffer from called the foot-in-mouth disease (please do not confuse it with the Foot 'and' Mouth disease which only affects the bovine segment of the animal kingdom ). I must warn you the disease can be near fatal especially at times when one gets the 'shut-up-dumbass-or-you'll-get-yourself-killed' fits.

I suffered from a really major fit of this sort yesterday. So it was a nice Sunday afternoon and I went to the office to jam for a while (yeah we have a band of some sort in office :)). But this jam session was different. A 6'5'' fellow(who also happens to be my boss) was here from Austin and he has a band of his own in Austin which was recently voted the second best Indie Rock band in Austin. So equipped with an excellent lead guitarist we jammed happily for a while (with little or no contribution from yousr truly since I didn't know the lyrics of any of the songs making it hard for me to do my duties, as the 'lead singer' of the band, to the best of my abilities). It gets a little hot in the storeroom where we play so we took a short breather for a while. We just hooked up a laptop and played some music on it. In a little chatty mood I commented how some bands dont focus on the lead singer. To support my case I gave the example of the song which was playing in the background. At this I got a really dirty look from Jon who went on to tell me that it was a song by his band, the midgetmen, and he had sung the enitre vocals for the song. So as you can imagine I turned a deep red and started stammering about, all tell-tale signs of a foot-in-mouth disease fit :).

So I hope you realize the seriousness of my condition and sympathise with me. In any case, if you're interested in Indie/Alternative/College rock you can give The Midgetmen (www.themidgetmen.com) a shot, its pretty ok.

Tech Musings

Apple has come with an ingenious way to discourage OS pirates.

The warning reads as below -

Your karma check for today:

There once was a user that whined
his existing OS was so blind
he'd do better to pirate
an OS that ran great
but found his hardware declined
Please don't steal Mac OS!
Really, that's way uncool.

Also, now you can insult George Bush through an email, but at a price.
On paying 20$ to www.insultthepresident.com, they'll forward your mail to the president of USA. You'll get an certificate for the insult and they'll also help you write one.

0 = 5

Attended GIR'2006 (Great Indian Rock) yesterday.

The line up was -

- Cassini's Division
- Medusa
- Demonic Ressurection
- Prestorika
- Zero
- Your Code Name is: Milo

I had great expectations from Cassini’s Division. Can say, they were OK, at least concept-wise. Playing a set of all self-composed songs, with strong influences from Alternate Rock and Nu Metal. But what they lacked was talent. The lead guitarist hardly played anything but rhythm, the vocals were cracking up, the drummer was ok. They really need some home work to do.

Next up was Medusa. Used a lot of electronic mixes to create that effect. But again the guitarist sucked and the vocals were not that good either.

Demonic Ressurection came and went doing the regular-

make a puking sound for 1 min -> flush it down -> shout for another 1 min*

No offence to people who like Death Metal, but you guys mistreat Punk in the same fashion :D

*The recipe for creating death metal songs comes to you courtesy – GD

Prestorika was the first band that evening which clicked. But, having won Campus Rock Idol ‘05, they were expected to play the way they did.

But, honestly, the only band for which I went was Zero. And, without any doubt, I can say that Zero did what all the rest put together couldn’t. They started with songs from their new album, trying to popularize the new stuff.

The new songs were not that bad, but how many time has it happened that you are listening a song for the first time and you start singing along. Maybe I’ll sing along the next time (after having listened to the CD 10-12 times)

Then came the old songs – Not my kind of girl, Christmas in July, Lucy (they have changed the name of this song), PSP 12” (still don’t know what the acronym stands for) and an excellent cover of Roxanne and Mr. Taliban (I hope I got the title correctly)

The last were Your Code Name is: Milo. They performed, courtesy The British Council. The sound was not that bad. Kind of stuff I like. But after all that head banging and mosh’ing, I was hardly able to stand on my feet.

So the second day of GIR’06 finished off with a chicken piece in my hands (so much for the Bird Flu scare in India) and one in the hands of Ketan (along with a strange piece of metal inside it).

Some pet peeves though –

- Where the hell are the punk rockers?
- Why is everyone playing Nu Metal / Rap Metal?
- Where the hell are guitarists, with those mind-blowing riffs?
- Why can’t we have a Zero-only concert?
- When will the people in my office start listening to rock?
- Why am I not a part of a band :( ?

While we're still on the topic of Valentine's Day..., I'd definitely like to share a few anecdotes which made my feb 14...well, funny if not romantic.

-In fact it all started on the 13th itself. It so happened that I'd left my dropyourjawsanddrool bike at the service centre, and so as soon as the clocked chimed 5:30, I decided to make a dash for it to pick it up, lest another particle of dust merrily settles on it. But all this enthu on my part was mistaken by most colleagues as an anticipation of the day to come. Some even asked me whether I'd be coming tommorow?! Come on people, it's just another day.

-Scene 2: 14th morning. As I grab anything edible in sight under the guise of breakfast, my mom tells me that at least today I should have dressed formally, and advised me to carry some extra cash in the pocket to save me from an embarassing situation! Seriously, I agree with Bertie, mom is the one female in the world who always believes her son is eye-candy for all the women around...

-Over to the office. The girl who sits next to me chirps that she for once is having a gr8 day. Reason being that she has just been asked on a blind date to the CCD in the office by a guy, or rather an email...

-As soon as I unlock the comp, Outlook shoots a warning in my face saying thst my mailbox is overflowing with crap, in other words forwards. It seems that today, even people I don't recall have taken the initiative to remind me of the blessed day that according to them i should spend alone, reading the crappy mails and cursing them.
And not just the mails. People like my PM (hello? need some distance here....) naively ask me that why I did'nt take a leave today? Yes, I know I wanna puke and maybe my face says it, but this is too insignificant to take a sick leave.

The only consolation is, that the girl next to me, whose day was seeming to get better by the day, turned around and asked me if I had something sharp to hit someone with. On further inquiry, she revealed that the dreamy email-guy in the last of his mails, had complimented her, saying that she looked like.....guess who....Tanushree Datta!! Poor dude, he sure was in for some abuse-hurling and sandal-whipping.
So as the day ended on a funny note, the both of us shared the only mail I liked in the entire day....the one that wished me a Happy Independence Day!

Yap yap yap.....here i go again

Lots of random stuff to babble about. One the main reasons for this entry is so that the previous one ceases to be the first thing one sees on Mostly Harmless....damn digicams. In the old days on being photographed in such positions, i could have destroyed all the copies and given the negative to the friendly resident rat in my room for safekeeping in his hole...but alas the in this day n age of technology i can't possibly know how many copies have been made and now it's on the internet. Potentially billions of people can see it. Thanks to ZZ9 i spilled my morning coffee (yet again) as i settled into me office chair on monday.

Lots of other stuff happening in the last few and infact the coming days. Finally saw RDB on saturday....nice movie....fun, message n all and gud music. After that was treated to a choclate excess in Barista. Also my new harddisk was broken by seesh earlier that day. But had a gud time in all....reached home late and missed my TL's wedding that night. All in a day's work.

Big event happened in the office on last Wednesday....Madmita wore a saree to work....there were interesting reactions from all n sundry to say the least. I was surprised too...by how well she actually carried it off. She totally enjoyed the attention...but it's interesting how many jaws dropped and eyebrows were raised. Last i checked this was India and saree was supposed to be a sorta national dress, for the ladies atleast. I mean people, as i commented to her would have cared less if ladies suddenly showed up in the office wearing bikines....ok i admit that was just wishful thinking. Point is....it created quite a lot of fuss. The day finally ended with a dude demanding a treat coz of the saree....i mean seriously man if ur hungry and want some food just say it. Few females came up to her and congratulated her on starting some kind of mini-revolution and threatened poor n confused males that they have now been inspired and are gonna wear it to work soon.

Moving on....yesterday was ofcourse Valentine's Day. Being a respected member of the society i have at various forums been asked to comment on bday of St Valentine. Frankly, i don't have an opinion coz it doesn't affect me. It means as much to me as rose day or hug day or friend day or or kiss-ur-boss's ass or any other damn day there is. Anyways i decided to have a nice bath, shave n comb my hair that day; wore proper formals (with sports shoes though) to office. As i walked in a collegue asked me "why the formals ??" .....damn it why not? Do i provide some kinda comic relief that bounds me to dress sloppily every single day? Okay i do but can't i take a break? Quite amusing actually, throughout the day people came up to me and asked me "so...what are the plans for today ?" "Well...my plan was to rob the freakin bank tonite and run off but i don't think you are interested in knowing that!!" i reply with a staright face. Then it comes :- the knowing sympathetic nod, the hand on the shoulder and the comforting smile. I reached home, even my mom pestered me about what gifts i got...she thinks i am surrounded by gals. Jeez....thanks mum, for the vote of confidence n for having such a nice opinion about ur sonny boy, but unfortunatley the other females (of this world atleast) don't share it. In case you are wondering.......never met an alien babe so wouldn't really know about what they think, now would i ??

Talking about girls...it's amazing nothing has been posted on this blog on them...totally disproportionate to the time i spend talking/thinking about/with them. I still remember my english teacher in class 11 n 12...she used to also take some value education class. Her gyan was "Never fret too much about any chick...there are plenty of gud fish in the sea". One may wonder what i was doing at a culinary seminar on non-vegetarian food. No, this statement was actually made about girls in a value education class. I just came to know that fishes have a 10 second memory (haven't verified this fact). But this rule is applying on my life a little too literally, i mean perfectly human babes turn virtually into fishes judging by the way they ignore me after the first couple of meetings. Hmm...maybe it's the deo i am using or my personality...definately one of those.

Great win for India on Monday thanks to goldilocks Dhoni n boost kid Sachin. Everybody loves winners....don't they? Busy days ahead, till the end of march....interviews n work that is piling by the day. Going to GIR on saturday....yipee!! Long since i went to a concert.....gonna totally freakout with buddies and possibly to a date on thrusday.....well no it's just gonna be two friends hanging out together.

Hehe...the things that can make you laugh any time you look at them... 

After the thrill has gone


Earlier this year, as always, I was off for my 22KM short (sic) trip to the college. Thrashing my bike as hard as I could. Asking the bike to take me those magical 3 digit figures, as many times as possible during one trip. And I really enjoyed those rides, dreaming of getting myself a big Superbike and going beyond those early numbers in the 100's.

But I never realized this would happen!!

College was over. Started working. Office was mere 2 KM from my house. And the road was nothing to write home about.

The ride was so damn unenjoyable that I even stopped looking at the speedometer. (My guess is that I would be reaching the max of 45 kmph during the round-trip)

Then one day, after 7 months of riding 4 KMs everyday I finally went on a long ride & a road which God could have given me only after I prayed ages in the Himalayas.

So I went off. Cutting through the air. Everything was going so fast, sideways.
Soon I thought I was too fast. Looked at the speedo.

70 kmph !!!

Am I day dreaming ??
70kmph has brought the shit half way through the hole :-O

What the hell has happened to me?
Am I dying?
What happened to my dream of owning a SBK?
Is it time I move to the safe environment of a car?

Answers to all these questions, the next time I go for a long ride.

P.S. I am thinking of getting my odo checked :)

Queezy tummies and gud excuses

madMita came up with this lil gem.....it can be used as an perfectly valid excuse to give to ur PM for an unsecheduled holiday or ofcourse a description of one's discomfort !!

"My tummy hurts....It's like thethe vogons are having a tug of war in my stomach using my food pipe as the rope...while the whole universe is watching from the pancreas balcony and Zaphod is surfing on my appendix... you get the picture ??"

The boys are back in town!!



from left:- Cosco (ZZ9), Zal, me (bertie) and Chinks (blatherer)

On sunday met up with pals at Zal's sister's wedding reception. Ain't it a nice feeling when you meet with old chums after a long time ?? Ofcourse couple of them are not quite in the old chums category and try as hard as i may, i keep running into cosco n chinks regularly. Although met Zal after eight months. Discussion generally centred around the usual topics - food, carping abt other frinds/classmates n Zal's abysmally poor grades at IIM Cal. All the sentipaan and memories actually made me think about nearly all my friends since kindergarden. Damn i haven't kept in touch with almost any of them. It's so important to keep gud friends close to you...if not in distance but in spirit atleast. I especially remember my 3 best friends in school...in have almost lost all touch with them gradually. Even just out of college i am not in contact with most of my friends from there too.

I see two reasons for that, firstly i pefer a few but very gud mates and i generally hate phony talking...i mean its ok within your immediate surroundings as frankly one needs to, say with classmates n people in office...making small talk n all but beyond a point i just can't stand it. Second reason is sadder, i am just too freakin lazy!! I mean it's lame but true. Also, I am very much a 'with the flow' kinda guy. I mean years in school were long enough to make friends....went to college met new people made relationships during the course of 4 years. Now have further made very gud new friends at office. So all along i have met new people made new bonds but at same time haven't really bothered to keep the olds ones in place.

These days i need to think about grim and idiotic questions like why MBA ?? Or what i wanna do in the next 5 years ?? One of the things that comes to mind is that i miss college. I mean NSIT, my college was gud with some decent junta......but it wasn't really great. But still i miss is that style of existance - i mean those fests, quizzes, rock shows or the general time-killing sessions. One of the things i loved about my friends, infact generally about my whole class was how we constantly made fun of each other, ourselves and just about the whole college. Nobody was as smart or cool as COE-1. Especially in our group people had nice controlled egos and could totally enjoy a laugh on their expense. Total bindassment i say. Even during the exams it was sorta fun when the enormity n length of the syllabus suddenly dawned on you two days before the exam and then one either ran from piller to post to get hold of any kind of notes or alternatively, accepted the fact tht nothing can be done so have fun for 2 days and then confidently walk into the examination theatre like a dude being fed to really pissed n hungry lions armed with a tiny paper knife. It was fun how after getting burned each time i promised myself at the beginning of the next semester that i would be really regular with my studies only to get a harder kick up my backside the next time.

Damn!! so, i want to get into a B-school just coz i miss college and wanna make new friends ? Well, actually no, but i do want to study more and also meet new people and make new diverse friends. That is one place i think most engineers have a drawback - they hang out with the pretty much same crowd, that is engineers. Even at work most people are similar to an extent....i wanna meet newer and different kinds to birds....creatres with totally different thought processes and get to know them better. But ofcourse, all this while keeping old pals and maintaining or even bettering these time tested relationships. Amen.

Hello.... am I talking to me?

Another serious post. Now don't think that I wrote this on being moved by the sudden surge of senti posts on the blog. (Besides, no offence Bertie, but your "not funny" was actually funnier than the previous ones.) I had this feeling going on in my mind before it all, and I remember telling Bertie about writing this on a call I think was the 5 minute one he mentioned in the last post. Maybe it were the posts, maybe the headiness that is Spring, or maybe it was the strange feeling I've been having after watching Rang de Basanti, but I couldn't help introspect on the person that I am, 7 months of work, 4 yrs of college and 21 yrs of walking this earth, down the line.
A normal today in Life is a hotbed of chaotic activity. Permanent tensions, Strange attractions, Heady emotions. To the world, I may seem to be living a normal life. Maybe better than normal. But is this what I'd asked for? Or is this just a bargain I could manage? I remember, as a kid, life was simple, yet wonderful. It was a world ruled by the God of small things. Small pleasures. A chocolate, or a nice movie is all that would make my day. But now, it is just the opposite. Though pleasures abound if I begin to count, contentment is always just round the corner. The coveted project, the good looking girl in someone else's arms, or the elusive postgraduate seat. The newspaper articles about career stress, and ads about Art of Living courses, suddenly seem so relevant. And it's not just me. My brother's become wierder every passing month since he completed his MBA. So have the friends who made college memorable. The girl sitting next to me at office, is constantly on the lookout for a better job. The guy in the next row, cribbing on not being chosen for the on-site job. Or the girl further down the block, in search of that knight in shining armour, who'll come and swoop her off her feet.
...
Then there is the second question. And blame RDB for this if you find it too cheesy.
Is the way I chose, the right way? Is the position that I am in, the best that I could be in for the society and the country? Or am I blinded to something else.......something so damn obvious yet unfathomable because of the apprehensions that cloud my rationale? Fear that haunts the logical, fear due to perception, uncertainty. Would I be a recognised as a part that made a difference in the SYSTEM on the day of Reckoning? Or would I be writ off as another disappointment? Is there someone out there who can help me sort out his mess that is my mind right now? I just don't know...
I apologise if you found the above post boring. I just had to get it out of me. And though the questions still remain unanswered, I have, as an alternative, decided to do whatever i can, to make them fade away, solved or otherwise. A leisurely walk in the evening to catch up with my folks. Or spending a moment to listen to the morning bird chirping near the window, before starting off the day and becoming a part of the rat race, yet again.

Not Funny!!

The entires (that are and were) on this blog are generally funny or insightful or give some pretty useful gyan (theories and primers)....not that they have to but they are written by funny, intelligent, mature and witty people. So if you by any chance are reading this one thinking it has a clever title and will live up to the expectations of entries on this blog then stop....do not read ahead.

Part - 1 : A good opening

My day started interestingly, got up late with a slight buzz in my head......decided not to comb my hair today...i mean who cares right...i am supercool!! Anyways it took me about 10 mins to get my unkempt look right against the usual 2 i take to comb them. Damn it's real hard to make hair not fall into place when you don't want them to. Suddenly my hair were like disciplined soliders in an army regiment all standing next to each other like comarades. So i rush off without having my breakfast. Half way to my bus stop get this call, "Hey dude!! the bus is atleast 30 mins late...so go back and i'll give you a missed call when it reaches my stop"...."thanks" i reply back.

I reach back home and am just about to eat the first piece of papaya when ring..ring..missed call. This is followed by a msg stating that i better run as the driver's body has been taken over by holy saint Juan Pablo Montoya's spirit and is obviously driving fast. So i run, after a long time too combining the speed of PT Usha n grace of....er Pamela Anderson (in Baywatch). Finally make it safely into the bus...the stupid radio is blaring so i decide to silence it, partially atleast by putting my bag infront of the speaker. Get up, do that n sit down...only the bag hasn't properly wedged in place so just as i am settling into my seat it falls on my head much to the amusement of my co-passenger. "Didn't u know the bag was not in place properly", she chirps helpfully....i only mutter something under my breath like a dragon hissing smoke before unleashing fire. Grovel and grumble...jokingly ofcourse how this is the worst start to the day and how it possibly couldn't get any worse. Actually, this was the most fun part of the day....i mean seriously it was eventfull and there was constant action; no thinking, kind of like a Jackie Chan-Govinda starrer.

Anybody who has persevered to read this far deserves a song :-

aye saala
abhi abhi huaa yaqeen ki aag hai mujh mein kahi
hui subaah main chal gaya
suraj ko main nigal gaya
ruu-ba-ruuuuuuuuu...............

I heard this song abt 15 times today thanks to my teammate who loves RDB!!

Part - 2 : An idle mind is a torture chamber

Reached office, don't have much work....checked mails n stuff.
I must admit i was pissed by the comment on my previous post and it bothered me.....question is why did it bother me ? Tried some regular diversion tactics....small talk with neighbor -"hey nice suit, wanna go to the cafeteria for breakfast ??"....."Sorry dude!! no time".Called up friend #1...chatted for 5 mins...he had some work. Called up friend #2....ring..ring...no freakin reply. Called up friend #3...."Haan bhai!! i am driving right now, will talk later."....oh wait, it's my sister's b'day, called her - "The airtel u r trying to call is unreachable...plz try later". Why did she have to go to Timbaktu to celebrate it.

Tick...tock...tick....

Ok 'Zinda', the recent movie has Sanjay Dutt trapped in this cell for 14 odd years. Every few months or years a sinister sounding tune is played and some gas called velium or something is injected into the cell which causes him to faint. Some people come along - clean, shave and give him new clothes. The above description was to compare the closed cell with and idle and calm mind. I mean usually we are doing something which occupies our brain or thinking ahead or back about work, problems or anything.

But my mind ala the cell was completly idle and then the same sinister tune played....here instead of velium, thoughts were injected into my mind only instead of cleansing it, they totally messed it up...so much so that even a MCD garbage dump would seem like El Darado infront of it !!

I fought or tried fighting my thoughts most of the day by trying to bug almost everone in my team, although they seemed to have suddenly found this new zest and aim in life to finish all their work today itself. Then i stopped, stopped wrestling with my mind by actually going for a walk alone outside my building....luckily the weather outside this time of the year in Delhi is quite nice. There was almost a sea breeze blowing outside.

Part 3 : Crappy ending : Food for thought!!

What is our default state of being ?? why is it not happy ? Are we totally dependent on external factors to make us happy - meeting a friend, nice music, a gud choco cake, seeing Yana Gupta dance :) etc...etc ? Do we even have control over what affects us in our state of being ?? Or is it some kind of bubble one is enveloped in when one is really happy....oblivious of the world around us...without cares n worries....only to have it pricked and burst some time. Question is how long can one stay in there ?

One for the road