Marriage...eh!!

Seems like it is fast developing into a national past time these days. Discussion in offices over coffee, TV coverage, newspaper headlines, actually getting into one seems to be very much the rage.

Well you can hardly blame me for adding as somebody once profoundly remarked, fuel to fire. The Ash-Abhi wedding, impending nupital of cousins....hell even my best friend is getting married soon. So why the heck is it eating me so much, you may venture to ask?

Is it cause i see people cozy and happy together (atleast on the surface) while i like Schumacher in his prime am heading towards the dangerous curve of life called mid-20s at breakneck speed. Or that my younger cousins are attaching the words "old ancestor" in their warm salutations while greeting me. Or that just the other day i saying to my aunt, "Young Rahul would do well to concentrate on his studies rather than the girls in his engineering college."

Probably, although you might think that i am a tad overreacting in feeling like an old sock in the bottom drawer....hmm...who knows...but things to ponder on....in the meanwhile time to put on my jammies, hit the strip clubs, enjoy the lap dances and burn rubber with my ferrari.

I recall having rather interesting conversation regarding marriage last year. The characters in the conversation being me, aunty K and a guest appearence by me mom. Now aunty K is as far as people born before Goa was liberated (somewhere in 1961, you morons) a pretty jovial and light hearted creature.

In the noraml course of events i rather enjoy having a conversation with her. However, that day there were weightier issues on her mind. She was looking for suitable matches for both her daughter and son as they both were rapidly slipping past the acceptable marriage age in Hindu middle class families. Resolution of the Kashmir imbroglio wouldn't so much as registered a blip on her radar.

So here goes,
Aunty K: Sunn beta, you free naa? Internet laga dey....V (her son) key liye ladkiyaan dekhte hain. I knw this site.

Now, getting an oppurtunity to ogle at pictures of babes on the internet with official sanction, jumped at the chance and chirped,
Me: Haan aunty, jaroor. (Trying to sound cool, not over enthusiastic)

For one, the number of profiles of prospective grooms far exceded the ones for brides. Blasted twisted sex ratio in this country. So aunty suddenly changes track and decides its better to go through the groom profiles for her darling daughter. So then we proceed to go over them in some detail. Not an enjoyable experience to say the least. Aunty K was on fire and like a dragon slaying all in her path and rejecting prospective grooms with:

- He's too fat
- What will my daughter do married to a teacher ??
- Hmmm....decent...but the salary...
- This one is the best: He seems a bit old, my daughter loves to dance...i don't think isko dance vance aata hoga. Say what aunty, for all you knw he's Prabhu Deva's dancing coach!! (I swear this one is true)

An already dark day is getting gloomier :(

In the meantime darling mommy comes into the room and chimes, "Abhishek, you seem to be awfully interested in all the girls. Hai! Iss ladke ka kuch nahi ho sakta."

Before i coould spring to my defense, aunty K comes to the rescue,
Aunty K: Kya baat kar rahe ho didi, kitna accha ladka hai. IIM mein jo hai....(then turning to me) beta tujhe apni shaadi ki koi chinta nahi karni hai....IIM mein jo hai (again!). Sunder ladkiyon ki line lagegi iske liye toh.
Me: (Smiling like a contented teenaged girl having just bought the latest shoes from the mall.)

Two obseravtions here,

1. Wow!! finally i found the answer to the question that has proven to be a downfall of many, thinking about which many a night has been spent in agony...."WHY MBA ??" And as it is with the tougher questions in life, the simplicity of the answer is beautiful.

2. Thousands like aunty K spend spend hours data mining relevent marriage information. For crying out loud, why the heck does someone not developp some marriage index or rating ? Talk about a business oppurtunity going a begging!!