Conspiracy Theory

There is a conspiracy against me and i'll tell you why. Recently i had the first ever heartbreak of my life. You must be saying its shoo unfair, itney haseen mijaj ka, mazakiya ladke pey.

Say whatever, but i was recovering in my own way, consciously avoiding anything even resembling mushy stuff. That meant leaving dirty, smelly socks in my room, watching 1980s hollywood movies about college, the type that is unapologetic, raucous, cheap laughs for cheap-laughs sake, male-bonding fraternity kind of cinema and was turning in at night, reading my copy of "340 reasons not to have a girlfriend".

Also, unintentionally, for some insane reason, i'm being nice to most people. So much so, that my mom must probably be saying,"This boy is the apple of my eye". In other words "Yeh ladka toh meri aankhon ka tara hai." Although, come to think of it shoudn't it be "Yeh ladka toh meri aankhon ka seb hai."

Anyways the point is i was doing fine. Then why you must be wondering am i through this blog hell bent on popularising my latest book "Getting over heartache in 21 days for dummies". Blame what happened in the morning today. I got up in a cherry'ol mood. Conviniently ignoring the fact my pillow was wet with my drool i'm up and about with a confident air, ready to face whatever this world throws at me. Have breakfast, mummy ko bye karke aur papa ki blessings, apna basta leke nikal pada listening to one of my favourite inspirational songs on my mobile,

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

Fast foward some 10 minutes later.....

I'm in my office cab sitting quitely, minding my own business. I should have recognised the early warning signs, as 3 of the 4 songs played in a segment called foreplay (??) on the radio were of the mushiest kind. Then it happened. The lady sitting infront of me suddenly started to look out of the cab putting tremendous strain on her neck in the process. Now she is not hiven to such a tendency, she's pretty, seemingly smart, dresses well, perfectly nice female probably in her mid-twenties.

She then pokes her female friend sitting on the front seat and coos,"See that white car infront, there's Blah blah (her husband) in it....see see...can you see him?" The other female didn't quite share her enthusiasm and didn't really think it was the same as sighting of a rare, exotic, almost extinct bird. She seemed a bit cheesed off at the unwarrented poke i think. So, she simply mumbled,"Oh! He leaves at the same time as you?" Sitting at the back, i raise my eyebrows, talk about obvious questions.

Anyhow that chit-chat dies down after couple of minutes. We are at the Dwarka-Kapeshra crossing red light. Now, let me tell you as far crossings and red lights go this is hardly a romantic setting. By now she can take it no longer, gives the old blighter (in the white car) a call."Hiii !! I just messaged you. Didn't you get it? My cab is behind your car. Nahi just behind...oh you can see me...hehehe...(frantic hand movements going on). Chalo byeeee!!" And then she waves that typically girly goodbye. The one where the fingers come down one by one slowly.

She then sat through the whole journey with a goofy smile, her eyes rolling in their sockets, and her face had taken on the colour and expression of a devout tomato. I could see she loved like a thousand bricks. Ah! life.