Every few years ...

... I think about this blog. Its amazing how quickly and how much life changes in these years. Opinions have a character limit of 250 these days. Why I wonder. Why not spend more time using this amazing medium to communicate ideas and thoughts.

But then it remains the same in so many other ways. I'm older, pretend to be wiser and have pretty much no hair on my head. But still, when I step back, I still feel like a drifting dolt.

Priorities, Priorities, Priorities

'As you grow older, you grow wiser' is what they said. But, they never said you will be a better person, a more creative one, a better manager (duh!!), a person with the ability to pin point and say that - 'This is what I want to do. And, I'll do it right now'

Armed with numerous degrees, world class education, global exposure, successfully completed rigorous cases/deals/projects, fat bonuses and top-of-the-pyramid designations, have we really learned it all? Are we able to make and break those to-do lists? Are we able to satisfactorily say that we have spent the day well? Are we able to look back, look forward, draw a smirk and sheepishly conclude that I know what I'm doing and I;m doing it right?

And we're back...

After a hiatus of almost 3 years....we are....

Things have changed...boy things have changed - all of us are/have been officially part of the "rat race" (with deadly software engineer + MBA combos on our CVs). We have lesser hair & wider waists.

But some things remain same....what you ask.....well you'll have to just hold it in...and keep reading...lots more to follow...

The ever elusive B-School run (the adhoc blog)

When I came in, they said life will be better after the 1st exam.

Then, it was the 1st term.
Then, the 1st year.

But, it's still the same. And, now I'm sure that it'll be so even after this thing finishes :)

P.S. If you don't realize, this post is just meant to remind myself that I blogged once :|

Finally, it rains !!!

With cyclonic winds, heavy downpour and a drop in temperature, many will be happy. But, what will happen to the nest that that bird created after a whole week's effort?

Of third time (un)lucky!

So, this was the third time I was getting a clearance form signed by the same librarian and that surely felt pathetic. However, after thinking about it for a moment, I realized that my state of emotion had been completely unmatched during all those three occasions.

I remember the first time I came to this company. It was for a training that I undertook before finally joining the company. That was my first exposure to the corporate world and, needless to say, I was aghast. Everyone looked busy; there were state-of-the-art video conferencing facilities; the coffee vending machine had so many options; the labs were filled with towering equipments. I was more than joyous to know that in some months I would be a part of all this and would be tinkering around with all of these. But, for that particular moment, it was strictly business – meeting mentors, project assignments, reports and all that jazz.

The second time around was a much prolonged stay. There were more than 100 of us who had joined and each had that desire to prove him or herself. They were ready to be challenged and were eager to perform. Of course, leave aside those who hated the company from the very first moment and opened monster.com or naukri.com as soon as they got their own desktop.

But, the second stay was the perhaps the best of all. This was the time we made and, in some cases, remade friends, realized our potential, got a deeper perspective on what we wanted in life. It was filled with experiences – working late, getting help from unexpected people, handling over-ambitious, backbiting colleagues, dealing unnecessary work pressure from managers, getting work done by the lazy ones, getting work done for the lazy ones and multitasking to ensure that you get selected for that coveted b-school. To sum it up, it was perhaps the eye-opener, a revelation of sorts that looked you deep into your eyes and screamed – Wake Up!

Coming to third time, as it’s happening with this post, I was bored by the time I reached here. So, there started my glorious term with me sending a hate-mail (almost!) sent to the HR people before joining, followed by a tussle with the security guys on the second day. The manager went missing for the first few days, leaving me high and dry with no clue on what to do. And, a repeat act, with him going missing again on the last day, delaying my relieving date by a day. Don’t even dare make me say anything between those two days; I call them shitty-summer-afternoons-with-too-low-temperature-and-too-high-caffeine-and-no-one-to-guide-me-and-do-something-meaningful days.

So, as was my status message a few days back, I guess this is, in fact, the end of an era. The one I took unknowingly and the one that I am leaving purposefully.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's been a while....

It, indeed, has been a long time.

There have been no cribbing, no frustration, no why-don't-people-get-it-right, no I'm-like-this-only on Mostly Harmless. Seems that everyone's at peace with him or herself.

Is it really so?
Or, is that people moved on; got busy with work and life, in general.
Or, is it that the whole blogging thing is out of sync these days. Well, Facebook and GTalk! status act as better venting machines (Meow! any one?)

"My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don't know."

~ I seek no questions. I desire no answers.

Has Madmita officially left us!? :|

Arbitness (revisited)

This continues from Marvin's comment on zz9's last post -

As for growing up .. I think its overrated. I refuse to grow up if it means giving up on random thuss sessions and fooling around in general and behaving weirdly instead since I have a gf/bf. Why can't people be normal ... the world really doesn't care if you are going out with someone. Strongly urge people to get a life before they get a bf/gf ... its not a f******g race where you have to get a gf/bf just because everyone else is! Might even solve the soulmate issue.

I know I'm not in that 'race' (as described by Marvin); neither do I care about joining one. And, there's not one but so many reasons for doing so.

Life's usually complicated. You have so many stuff to do. You don't want to get all tangled up in a relationship. You are not ready. You might not have a good feeling about it. You might have had a couple of bad ones. You are already hard-pressed for time. And, so on and on and on.....

But, I think I have some unique excuses to add as well.

First up, I never actually liked any of them. They were all a tough case and I had no patience in dealing with them. Further, I easily get tired of two individuals trying to play what's-going-on-his/her-mind game. (Though, I realized during MBA that this was something to do with asymmetric information, bounded rationality and game theory) . Yes, there were one or two who didn't fit the 'usual' bill, but let's not discuss them for the time being.

Second up, "Why?" I mean what's the need? Give me the answer and I'll start looking for a girl straightaway.

Now, why did this topic came to my mind?
Well, I had posted some 'unusual' pics of me playing guitar on the stage and I got some rather 'unusual' comments. Sample this -

"Lot's of girls must be after you"
"I'm sure you did this to get some chicks"
"So, you must be humping around these days"

Hello!!!

Isn't there something called 'love for music' left in this world?
Or, are all your actions governed by your pervert-ness and should have a sexual connotation.

I certainly fail to see the rationale.
And, then the world will recall me as an a**

P.S. Simply dig Marvin's line - Strongly urge people to get a life before they get a bf/gf ...

Still alive (but kicking) !!

A complete half year has passed.

Back then, I didn't know what this journey would be like or what ups or downs will it bring along. But, to be honest, I never tried to figure that out either. The idea of coming here neither excited me nor did it bring shivers down my spine. It was just a moment that I believed would soon be over.

But, nature had some other things in mind (it always does).
It knew how much I hated roller coaster rides and that's what I received in abundance.
Late submissions, learning new topics 30 minutes before the exams, lack of sleep, long and tiring classes, personal schedule going haywire, I putting on weight - all the things I hated, yet have to live with. That's not all. That's probably the uppermost tip of the iceberg.

I could continue whining on and on.
Let's save it for some other day (in the best interest of everyone:))

Arbit

Last week was probably the last ever scheduled break of my life...unless I give into the urge of a second, phoren MBA, or of adding the initials 'Dr.' to my name..
Anyhoo, what's weird (and sad) is I spent a lot of evenings attending marriages - of friends, classmates, relatives and unknowns. It was as if the whole city was getting married. Now all these functions are generally very nice n all...food n drinks n a good way to catch up with friends n cousins....and aunts who have a list of girls waiting for you to evaluate and pick one from!
But then, it sends the philosophical side of me into an overdrive. When will the sham of the great-Indian-wedding end? Why dont these nosy aunts mind their own f*****g business? Does the concept of arranged marriage still make even the slightest sense (despite its awesome success rate in our parents' generation)? Are 24 year olds ready for the matrimonial bond-for-life (and does such a thing exist in the first place)? Do soulmates exist...and what if I ain't marrying mine!??

Damn...I hate feeling grownup. I hate my classmates getting married so early and giving my parents ideas. I hate feeling that studies are done and the expected next step in life is you-know-what. Aah...the phoren MBA or the frauddie 'Dr.' prefix (and the PhD to achieve that) seem such welcome deviations now! I love studying and I hate this MBA that's getting over so fast!!!

EGO R.I.P

I know I have been hallucinating in most of Prof. Sen's class.
But, as Abhishek puts it, he surely is one of my favorite profs out here :)

Finally!!

Yes. Finally! For the 1st time, I'm happy with myself. :)


Featured above - Lake Joka at its fullest.

What? Not Again!

Autumn descends and everyone starts pulling up their socks, yet again.

The "summers" time is here and I can already feel the heat in the chilly winds that blow easterly these days. Loads of broken ambitions, friendships falling apart, backbiting - all held by a single sheet of pasted on the wall.

Bertie had warmed me about these times a long time back and I can clearly see the clouds in the sky, albeit without any silver linings.

~ Wishing for better/brighter days......

Done at last.

1 Night.

50 Songs.

The numbers speak for themselves.

And, how JBS BaroC carried out this humongous task is a story in itself.

After all the technical goof ups - sudden sparks of reverbs on the vocals, guitars sounding too shrill, synth continuously displaying 'Low Battery' warnings, time and again tuning issues with guitar, broken strings, drunk musicians on stage - and the rowdy crowd, we finally played 50 songs.

Though, we missed our initial target of 65 songs (for which we practiced day and night), the number achieved was not at all unimpressive.

A totally new experience, I can still feel the rush of blood to my head.

And, then I thought.

Everything was subtle, depressing, disillusioning and full of cribs for a long while. The cyclic fevers didn’t help either.

But, suddenly there was a barrage of events that went around me. Though not related to me, they made me pause for a moment and think.

The early signs were there when I wrote earlier and it was good to see Bertie somewhat agreeing to my point of view. I thought that things will settle down after a while but new events just keep on augmenting my concerns.

I see people around me who are brilliant; Give them any damn problem to solve and they’ll crack it in a buzz. But, then they start doing things that completely disturbs the all-happy-utopian-landscape one could have imagined.

Is it really necessary for people to grab on everything they can?
Even if the benefits could have been afforded by them, had they not filled their wardrobes with Adidas's and Nike's of the world!

Is it really necessary to show your arrogance and so-called "attitude" to guests?

Is it really necessary to start listening only when the other person starts talking about dollars and pounds?

Is it really necessary to not end any conversation without mentioning the P word?

Is it really necessary to display your individualistic superiority at the expense of someone else?

Is it really necessary to stop dreaming just because you know the world is not going to change?

P.S. I’m even ashamed to tag these posts.
P.S.A. Have started listening to this song. I don't know a word they say but somehow a certain connect happens - http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=ADD7ga9Bs_k

Poppin' Pills

Repeated night outs, a confused mind, and a even more confused weather man - What do you get out of all these? Cold, fever, constant headache and, more importantly, a fear.

It's an unsaid rule in b-schools that thou shall not fall ill. And, if you do so, you're screwed. I need not even explain why :)

So, here I am, happily popping pills, hoping they have the promised effect.

Damn! Even this post is so confusing :(

The Disadvantages of an Elite Education

Long but really nice article:

http://www.theamericanscholar.org/su08/elite-deresiewicz.html

Paradise Lost.

It was one of those bandh days when the whole of Bengal comes to a standstill. And, all that we are left with is no transportation, no open shops, and most importantly no food since mess workers are part of the union.

But, somehow we managed to get some outside workers who could cook at least a bare minimum quantity of food for us. Needless to say, the utensils were scarce since there was no one to wash it and make it available for reuse.

So, in a situation like this and with hundreds of so-called “best” brains in the country, you can obviously be assured that people will manage the crisis.

But, what do you see instead?
People rushing and fighting for food; stuffing themselves to the brim; grabbing on spoons, forks and bowls that they didn’t even use; taking out serving spoons for personal use.

It looked as if it was the end of the world and this was your last chance for salvation.
It’s a shame to even imagine that these will be the people who’ll lead the country tomorrow :|

That brings me to another important issue -

Is good education enough to make you a good individual? Comments.

The 1st ones..

These were the days I dreaded the most - stuff nightmares are made of.

The very idea of going through the whole grind of examinations and evaluations all over again sent shocks across the whole of my body. The last time I felt that way was when I accidentally tripped on a high voltage wire.

Not that I never gave examinations in my life. Engineering was full of “those” things. But then, only an engineer knows the inside story. And once, that you have actually been in the industry, it's only the threat of losing dollars/euros that takes the shit out of you. All other things are passé.

So, what was it like?

Six gruesome days which were never accompanied by nights. Endless doze of Tea, Coffee, Cold drink, Rolls, Sandwiches and whatever you can grab throughout the so-called nights. Listening to the same song on full blast after each exam.

But, somehow I felt somewhat at ease. While others were not sleeping at all, I was logging 5-6 hours daily. Though, I am yet to see the repercussions of such a move.

But, all said and done, I'm sure that people will introspect deeply after this mayhem. The lines have been clearly drawn. We now know who's gonna burn the midnight's lamp from here on (of course, with high hopes of high returns) and who's gonna try his level best to extinguish the lamp (of course, to keep the spirit of relative grading held high). Rather than just following the mad race, people have to find their own way.

Am I right in what I just said?
Maybe the more experienced, and we have a hell lot of them, people can share their experiences. Especially, since they had stopped blogging during their b-school days **fuming**

Second Year :D

My past two weekends at K were probably the best ever. Partying. boozing and dancing till the wee hours ... listening to, amongst other things, an impromptu (and more importantly, an awesome) rendition of Nothing Else Matters by a fachcha in the OA amphi. ... and wrapping it all up with pan and apple flavoured Hookahs in the balcony, creating new philosophies with friends while the sun came up... filling with light the cloud-covered valley. Aaaah...what a sight!
Sleeping at 8 in the morning, getting up at 4 in the evening. Eating whatever, whenever. Doing whatever, whenever.

Is this what they call the bohemian way of life?? Is this a defense mechanism that the PGP2s adopt...having returned from the nerve-reckingly boring summer internships, getting a glimpse of what awaits them for the rest of their lives?? (Ahem..this philosophy is a by-product of one of the hookah sessions only...)

Who cares...the year has started in a great way. Looking forward to making it the greatest ever!

@Blatherer - hang in there dude! Second year's fun is in direct proportion to first year's misery!!

Run Devil Run!

Just ran a 5KM track to get an entry into the adventure club at Cal.

Though I couldn't complete it within the limited time, the good thing was that I actually completed it :D I never thought that I could do it. But, then, I never tried it.

Learnings? :P

p.s. damn! I think I have started sounding MBA'ish **yuck**

To Joka?

Reality is stranger than fiction. And, yet, there's a sense of tranquility that reality brings with it.

Till a couple of months back, everything was in place. I was to fly off to US, do my MBA and what not. My mind was so preoccupied with it that I started getting constant nightmares, thinking about all the work I'll have to do - cooking, cleaning, traveling and, yeah, studying. The Dollar-Rupee exchange rate was the first thing that I started noticing in the newspaper. And, the thought of leaving behind friends was haunting me. All in all, I guess a cocktail of fear, unexpectedness, excitement and sorrow started creeping in.

But, alas, things were not to happen the way I thought they will.

Rapid events flashed in front of my eyes and here I was, packing my bags for Joka - a small nondescript place in the outskirts of Kolkata. Where in Joka? The famed Indian Institute of Calcutta, or IIMC, as everyone knows it. Probably, a place millions dream to be and yet it seemed so incidental to me. The dreaded interviews and group discussions were, to be honest, okay. They seemed more like casual chit-chats and, at times, heated arguments. I guess they'll take there revenge once I am there.

So, here I am, off to IIMC Joka - the breathtaking campus of lakes, birds, rains, mosquitoes and, most importantly, the people.

People@Joka - Beware :P

Knock .... Knock ....

Anyone home?

Untitled Songs of Tyranny - Part 3

Just a mile down the road,
ran a small unknown stream.
And, though, it had its own beauty,
it was lost somewhere in between.

There were rivers large and glorious,
that weren't too far off.
And, needless, it is to say
he ran towards them with awe.

The water wasn't smelly or salty,
neither was it stale.
And, never, did the stream ever complain,
while serving him without a fail.

Yet, he build bridges
and bank for the river.
Forgetting if the stream
ever cried a tear.

The stream died a choking death,
before it turned into a drain.
Oh, how much it missed,
it missed for a rain.

A rain that would have made it flow
the one that would have poured all night
But, alas! the dream was too big;
too big before the river's might.

Untitled Songs of Tyranny - Part 2

Just as I started to sing,
I had those mellow feelings calm me down.
Blending with the music that played in the background,
they took over all the senses that remained.

Everything started drifting away
and everything became so subtle and calm.
And at a distance was that sound,
the one that didn't exactly call my name.

I still tried to listen hard,
battling stiffly with everything that came across.
But with each beat they faded away
both the senses and the sound.

Untitled Songs of Tyranny - Part 1

I don't have a story.
I'm still wondering why!

Nothing just crosses my mind.
I stand stupefied.

Is there any was there?
Don't ask me to whine.

Are we still wondering?
I guess that is right.

And, just as I started to pack my wares again.
There they stood in the darkness to snatch it all away.

Time has completed its cycle
and I'm still at the same stage.
Just wondering if it's time again
for me to sway away.

Chandni Chowk ....... Done
Neemrana Fort ......... Done

Too much work, busy weekends, sleepless nights, no partying, no doing-crazy-stuff, 18hours in front of a machine (which, by the way, is way more intelligent than me). I knew I had a crisis in hand. Some correction was required and it was required a.s.a.p.

I started off with a movie binge a couple of weekends ago (the post is somewhere down there. With no one posting, this blog looks like my personal blog :P).

Movies are fun but they are not fun enough. Point realized and it was time for some traveling.

First up, a trip to Chandni Chowk.

Exactly an year ago, I did this. And, I was doing this once again. Nothing changes in Old Delhi. The awesome choice of paranthas (aalo, gobhi, karela, bhindi, kela, papad but the one that deserves special mention is the mewa parantha–beat that if you can!), the walk in the busy lanes, the metro ride, the kulfi at Giani's. And to top it up, a trip to India Gate. Why'O'Why didn't I find this joy before?

One down, the next was a trip to Neemrana Fort.

Now, this was something that was in pipeline for a way too long time. But a 200km trip on a bike was something that I was scared of. So, after much deliberation and procrastination, my friend and I decided that enough was enough and we'll take our chances.

The start wasn't that good.

Just an hour before the decided time of departure, one of us was still dozing off. The situation looked dicey but we somehow managed it. So the ride that was supposed to start at 8:45 started at 11 :)

After passing the long barrage of trucks on NH8, we finally reached wide open spaces. Taking turns on the bike, we 'cruised' throughout the journey and safely reached the destination in 2.5 hours. Exploring around the fort, eating a highly-overpriced lunch, talking about what must have been those times like and deciding whether the 'thing' floating in the pond is a dead fish or a log of wood took us another 3 hours before we decided to head back.

While coming back, we were thinking about the great ride that we had but something surely was missing. So, there we went into a ditch (of course, with our bike). We did suffer some injuries but the laughing-at-the-time-of-tragedies took it all away (though, we realized after reaching home that we had injured ourselves a bit seriously and the bike still needs some thorough inspection).

But, as they say, even the fall has its own story and we might have a lot more falls tomorrow.
But, what the hell.
It was a heck of a ride! And that's all what matters.

(No Title Needed For This Nonsense)

So we're back to that time when me n blathy are the only ones who seem to posting on this blog (even if in a posting ratio of roughly 1:20). Where are rest of the weirdos?? Ummm...lemme guess. Bertie is boozing away the last few days in that mad house. Madmita is most prolly out exploring the scandinavian countryside (do they even hav it there?)...and Marvin, well...mugging away to glory!
Now don't get me wrong..this ain't another one of those "come on guys start posting!" calls. Nuh uh. The one area of thought time and experience have 'wise'ned me in, is that you don't ask people to blog on MH. It simply does not work. Though I do fondly reminisce those days of mad blogging...when the the only way to cheer up on a bluesy monday morning in office was to read up on the last late-night-sunday-post...Anyhow...life takes its turns and we move on to more 'important' things...
Now do not think that this post is drawing to a close. No sir. Am right now sitting in this Marketing Research class, least interested in the numerous data analyses being spoon-fed by the proff...and hence plan to spend one whole hour on writing up this nonsensical piece.
...
...
...
Ok... the weird part is, that it actually took a lot of effort for me to think of writing about something un-related to a bschool, or philosophy for that matter. But then I remembered that I still haven't posted about my much-awaited trip to Goa last-to-last weekend. I still remember having dreamt of going to goa ever since i could pronounce it (trust me, it wasn't so long back). And finally I did. 4 of us, barely managing a berth in the calicut-goa train landed up on a 3 day escapade to India's very own Tijuana (more on that and Spring Break and why we too after 10th and 12th should have one too, some other day).
What followed were 3 days of 8-9 meals a day, gorging on yummy seafood and more. But unlike the expectation of being stoned/doped/drunk and partying the nights away, my days (and nights) in goa were spent lazing away at the beach or hotel or a nearby cafe'....which makes me wonder whether I've already become that old?? That, at the age of 23 I din't smoke one joint nor jived in a single party, in GOA!!???
Arrrghhh...am not gonna be all philosophical again. And hence gonna blame all this on my elderly and mellow company :-)...fyi, am not through with goa. Not yet...and next time, its gonna be wild.

i, blatherer.

It all started when I decided to give birth to my alter ego, allowing it to come alive on-line.

I wanted a unique name - something that described me in a single word; yet, wasn't too obvious to reveal my identity (Mr. No-sense-lazy-ass would have been too easy for anyone to guess that it's me).

Many people take the easiest way out and name themselves bond007, hellboy, sexy-babe, and the likes. But anyone, who knows me well, knows how much I hate clichés (at least in theory). And, so began my journey in search of 'that' name.

After much search, I stumbled upon a word - blatherer.
thefreedictionary.com describes blatherer as someone who talks foolishly/gibberish.

Fits to the tee, I thought.

I had the habit of talking non-sense; often, confusing the listeners on where we started and where are we headed to; lost in transition; circling around a square that has no corner - Got it?

But wait! Why am I writing this? Did anyone ask for it? No one seems to have an issue with the name.

Well, because the name has its own darker side - the one that's oft confused on what to say during tight situations, the one that's ready to churns out rubbishes, the one that redefines sarcasm, the one that almost lost a very good friend because of this.

I just hope that I'll always stick to the funnier part because the rougher side of the coin is too hard - for me and, more importantly, for the people around me.

Blatherer died tonight.
And, somewhere in the distance, the music faded away -

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong

The right fit

I used to think I'm quite flexible and not-so-choosy when it came to making friends with people. Here, however, I've come to realise that it's quite the contrary. You just can't stand some people, while with some the closeness is more of a sine wave. Even the select group of people, the so-called close friends drift apart at the minutest of causes (or even without them), their void getting filled (though slowly) by others.
Why is it that school/college friends stay dearer than any latter ones?
Is it the idiosyncrasies attached with growing up and becoming more opinionated? Or is it the constant urge of people to mold others in their 'model' casts - something at which they continually fail? Hard to say...
An operations guru may say that the most optimum way to deal with these is to Stop Caring. Sadly, ops ain't my cuppa tea...